Leave my pockets alone!!! (Part 4, Does Art Heal?)

There's this period of utterly sad reflection that goes on  in the next phase of the healing process.   But many people just feel sad, or lonely, or isolated.  It can happen months after the event.  It’s normal.  Other people probably won’t understand it.  This is usually when they tell you to “get over it” and rejoin the land of the living!

Grief or healing depression is not clinical depression. It’s just a normal part of the healing process.  You will experience this in our own unique way.  Just be sure you’re dealing with it in a healthy way.  Some of the feelings might include

1.  Wanting to be alone with your sad thoughts

2.  Wanting to escape from outside pressures

3.  Feeling apathetic  - not interested in anything at all

4.  Being lethargic – unable to move or function on a normal daily basis

5.  Feelings of worthlessness 

Over time, these feelings will subside.  But they can also return each year at special occasions like a birthday, holiday, anniversary.   This type of depression is usually not treated with medications or antidepressants.  You just have to work through this phase of the process.  If you don’t, that’s when it can develop into clinical depression.

Maybe that’s where the expression “good grief” came from…..grieving is good because it’s gets us back to being a healthy person once again.

Oh! Such fun to be creative!  Little girls stamped and inked on shrink plastic, then apply heat.  They are only a little over an inch tall!  The dresses at the top are even smaller.  And an envelope on top of a tag on top of an envlope...layers of creativity!

And THIS is the time to find a creative outlet!  Painting, drawing, scrapbooking, rubberstamping, sewing, writing….anything will help.  If you write, recall the positive experiences of the past, remember the good times. I think it’s important to realize that there’s no right or wrong way to go through the healing process.  And there’s no set timeline to do it in.  Nothing is silly.  There are no “shoulds”. But I think that doing something is always better than doing nothing….as long as it’s a positive something that you are doing!

I’m not going to bore you with my grief process….but I learned it in detail about 1994.  My grandmother’s funeral was on the exact day that my oldest son was going in for a second hip operation, having been on crutches for the last 9 months following the first hip operation.  I had received the final divorce papers (he got custody of my youngest son) and almost the same time, I was laid off from a job I loved due to a merger.  I hadn’t gotten over the loss of my own father in late 1992 and simply didn’t realize how much loss I was experiencing in such a short time.  Go back to that checklist of major losses that I did---I had lost a parent, a grandparent, a job, a marriage, and the health of a son.  Hmmm…..ya think maybe I was a little overwhelmed?

But that “good Baptist grieving” I spoke of in the last segment kicked in and sometimes that works as a really good survival mechanism.  Not so sure it helps you heal….but it gets you to where you need to be.  I was so busy I didn’t have time to even think about loss. 

I love this cuttlebug embossing folder...inked, with stickles on top.  The bird of peace.  In this period of healing, we really are looking for peace in our lives.

And then I got sick.  Really sick.  It was my body’s way of telling me to take a break, stop, backup, take time out.  Funny how smart the body is when the brain simply won’t listen!

I have met many, many individuals just like that.  They have so much loss in such a very short time period and don’t take a break, don’t process it…just keep going full speed and keep everything stuffed inside.   Usually those are the ones who get really sick.  I have to wonder that if they took time out to go through the healing process after a loss….would they be healthy today?

Into every live a little rain should fall.  Here in Colorado, that turns into snow.  Wonderful felt snowflakes by Creative Impressions layered inside glass with soldered edges.  A reminder that rain, when frozen and turned into snow, can be beautiful.  Maybe we just need to look at things differently to find the beauty in them!

It’s important to understand that there are different types of events that can cause grief.  The death of a loved one is “acute” loss.  It’s immediate.  It’s onset is instant.  Compare that to a loss that comes in tiny bits and pieces over an extended period of time.  A diabetic might eventually lose the use of their legs and become wheelchair bound…but that could be more than 30 years since the onset of the disease.  A different kind of loss – but still a significant loss that needs to go through each of the steps of the healing process.

A simple library card pocket...turned into a piece of art!  So elegant!  Sometimes, we need something really pretty to journal our saddest feelings on.

How do you get through this stage of the healing process?  A really tough question! Don’t you just hate it when someone tells you that you are depressed….but they don’t tell you what to do about it?  LOL!!!  I think there are things that will help:  (yes, some of these are a repeat from Part 1, but there are expansions….examples of what specific actions you can take….well worth another mention in this phase, just in case you’ve forgotten that you need to continue these activities in order to heal.)

Sometimes, what's inside is just as pretty as what's on the outside.  The tag inside has glitter on each line of writing. The top envelope has glitter on each flower. Once again, the chaos of life with winter tinsel and summer flowers.

1.    Admit how sad you feel, how hopeless life is.  Give yourself a boundary…a deadline to end this phase.  I sometimes take 24 hours out of my life to “get over” something.   But you may need weeks or even months to process your event.

2.    Write your feelings.  Remember, if you write it down, you don’t have to rethink it or worry about it.

a.    Study.  Learn.  Use the internet to research this step, or to research the overall healing process.  Learn as much as you can about your loss.  Write down what you learn and how you feel about what you knew then vs what you know now.

b.    Maintain order in your surroundings.  It will help you maintain order in your inner lie and create positive energy. 

c.     

3.    Rest.  Relax. Take lots of naps.  Long hot baths.  I think this includes nurturing yourself.  

a.    Believe it or not, crying will help you relax.  Tears contain ACTH, a stress hormone.  They help detoxify the body.  Emotional relase helps lower blood pressure and heart rate.  I can sleep for hours after a good cry.

b.    Wear comfortable clothing, something soft next to your skin.

c.    Hug a soft pillow at night, put pillows at your back, try a full body pillow.

d.    Limit your exposure to noise, depressing TV shows, sad books, negative people.

e.    Get a massage.  Any kind.  It can’t hurt!

4.    Eat right.  Every single day.  Good nutrition helps.  The doctor said “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” and I honestly believe he was on to something there!

a.    Some recommend herbs. I tried them. I think they may help you relax so maybe this goes under # 3 above.

b.    Eat comfort foods….there are healthy ones like chicken soup, a simple green salad, a plate of pasta.  Drink warm fluids.  Take your vitamins.

c.    I hate the taste of coffee, never learned to drink it. But I love the smell.  It’s a smell that I grew up with.  And when I think of my childhood, I am happy.  This is what aromatherapy does.  Find your own personal “happy” aroma.

5.    Walk outside.  Look at the flowers, the leaves, the snow.  Connect to nature.  There are 4 seasons in a year and if we truly understand the cycle of the seasons and think about it, we will come to know that life will and does go on.

a.    Yoga is a good exercise if you do the kind that focuses on breathing.  Oxygen in, toxins out. 

b.    Deep breathing.  It can ease the heaviness in your chest.

c.    I don’t believe in acupressure, but I do.  If I apply pressure to the area between my thumb and index finger, I can often relieve a headache.  Try holding one ring finer, then the other for relief from anxiety and/or depression.  Or try holding your right thumb with your left hand and then switch and repeat.

6.    Pray.  Turn it all over to God.  Take the “monkey off your back”, let that weight be lifted up.  Trust me, it’s a learning process, but you will be able to let it go in due time.

7.    Appreciate and be thankful for what you had before it was gone.  Find one positive thought per day to focus on. 

a.    Someone once shared with me the concept of an “applause” journal.  Every time someone said something nice about you, write it down. Write down the date, the time, the event, what the other person said, how you felt when they said it.  This might just be a good time to start your own “applause” journal.

8.    Find something tiny in each day to smile about and then let that single smile grow into something to laugh about every day.

a.    Put on makeup.  Dress up pretty.  Put on your party shoes.  Even if you aren’t going anywhere.  Dress up and just sit in your chair.  That would make me laugh!

b.    Someone once told me that if you have a good haircut, everything else will look good.  Now might be the time to splurge and get that haircut!

9.    Make self-preservation your number one priority during this time.

10. Turn to the right side of your brain.  Explore it.  See what’s there.  Can you be a tiny little bit creative every day? 

a.    Maybe buy a creative magazine and look through it and pick one simple small thing you can do. 

b.    Take a piece of clay and turn it into a small bird, something easy (will help connect you to nature, # 5 above)

c.    Buy a cheap set of kids watercolor paints and try painting something (ok, for me, this would connect back to # 8 above!)

d.    Make a hand made thank you card and give it to someone who has done something nice for you (will help with #7 above)

The possibilities are endless. 

The tag on the right says, "Life is Good".  It's good at this point to remind ourselves of that as often as we can in as many ways as we can.  Being creative is always good.  Even if you think you don't have a creative bone in your body, you just might find that ou do!  Tea dyed lace, butterscotch alcohol inked beads, diamond stickles, tea dyed edges.  Takes that bright pink background and tones it down.  Sometimes, life needs to be toned down in order for us to heal and move forward with our life again.

Depression can be a healthy stage of grieving.  It should be evolving and resolving.  But more importantly, this can be the time when you explore your creative side.  In today's pocket, what would you write about an episode of depression you experienced.  Or better yet...is there a past loss that you haven't yet grieved?  What can you do at this point to process it?

Waking up in the left side of the brain

I realized that I wake up in the left side of my brain every day.  Even though I'm retired....I have a routine.  An hour of Bible study and meditation.  Someone once said that if you don't give the first part of the day to God, you won't give any part of the day to Him.....and I have found that to be so true!  Then a quick check of email, then off to exercise because I have learned that if you don't exercise early in the day, you won't exercise at all!  LOL!

Today, I had a genealogy meeting, so even more time in my left brain.  Processes, timing, schedules, appointments....they all take away from my right brain time.  Can I slip there for 5 or 10 minutes?  Probably not since my dominant side is still the left side.

Yesterday was "jammie Saturday".  It's my feeble attempt to keep the Sabbath in a totally different kind of way.  We stay in our jammies all day long.  It's wonderful!  We plan nothing for Saturday and because we stay in our jammies, we really don't do too much.  And it has truly become a day where I can spend as much time as I want in my right brain.....and we saw the positive results on yesterday's blog!

Jammie Saturday has it's other benefits!  I can skype with my sisters and my closest friends (I wouldn't let just anyone see me in my jammies, no makeup, hair not brushed.....you get the picture?

Linda emailed me this screen shot she took of me yesterday morning.....so you can see why I don't skype with just anyone on Jammie Saturday!  LOLOL!!!  Geez, could I look any worse???   I definitely didn't pose for this one!

After the genealogy meeting this morning, I was all inspired to work on that project.  But Kerry wanted to go to the movies and we had kids coming over to pick up an old TV.  As it turns out, there wasn't a moment to be creative today.....or a moment to do genealogy!  Just one of those days. But I had some time to think about the "healing power of art".

I understand the marketing aspect of that comment.  The industry wants to sell craft products.  So if they can convince you that "art heals", maybe you will buy more craft products.   And that's a great marketing ploy.

But what if you spend all that money, do all those things, be as creative and as artful as you can...and nothing heals?  Or perhaps it even gets worse.  And I actually know several women like that.  They take every class they can.  They buy every product there is, they take all the necessary steps....and nothing changes for them.  So they get frustrated, walk away from art, sell all the stuff they have....because art didn't "heal".

I think I know why.  But it will probably take a few days for us to get there.  It's connected to the right side of the brain - being able to get there and forget about everything else in life.  But it's also connected to the overall proess of healing, not just one aspect of it.

Here's hoping that tomorrow brings time to play!

Right brain time loss - more on the creative process

I remember the very first time I took up a brush to watercolor paint here at the house, alone.  Mom had given me a lesson and I came home all excited to try out her ideas.  I had thought I'd spend an hour or two at the most.  I had everything all set up, knew what I was going to paint and set about painting.  I started at 8:30 am that day.

When I felt like I was finished enough that I could stop and take a break, I looked at my watch and it was 6:00 pm!!!  I was completely shocked!  I had not eaten, I wasn't even hungry.  I hadn't put down the brush, stopped for a potty break....anything at all.  I hadn't noticed that the sun was setting.  And it literally scared the crap out of me!  I told myself that I couldn't paint if this is how it was going to be.  I couldn't "afford" to lose an entire day of my life like that!

And then I read the book "Drawing on the Right Side of Your Brain" by Betty Edwards.

The left brain is logical, sequential, rational, analytical, objective, looks at parts.  We look at clocks, we have schedules, we have "to-do" lists, we have appointments, we read, write, do math. Most of us work and live in the left brain.

My left brain says I have to work in an organized area.  When I really get creative, I expand by setting up additional tables!

So I put all the stuff on that empty table, work on the table below which is right in front of me

and stay connected to the outside world via skype, email and FB posts:

The right brain is random, intitive, holistic, synthesizing, subjective, looks at wholes.  Sings, dances, ignores time, forgets appointments, doesn't wear a watch.  The right brain automatically mixes and matches colors, places shadows and highlights where needed in the creative process.

So the right brain doesn't really care about the mess...that's the left brain!

The left brain analyzes if the colors are a good match, if the shadows are in the right position.  So I pull out all my mint and pink paper and pile them up:

And I pull out all the matching ribbons and pile them up!

We work with both sides of the brain, but some of us allow one side or the other to have dominance.

I know that I was very left brained my entire life.  I worked for the federal government.  I could never have survived using the right side of my brain.

But being retired, who needs a clock?  Who needs an alarm, a schedule, a "to-do" list?  I've had the freedom to step over into the right side of my brain for unlimited periods of time.  I've also learned how to get there....and get back out so that I don't lose an entire day of my life (well not as much as I used to!)

But there's a process and it takes time, sometimes it's actually a struggle, to step from the left side to the right side of the brain.  I find that when I first start to "play", I'm pretty rigid.  I want things to be symetrical, clean, linear.

and while many would like that, it's just not me!  But as I get more and more into my "play", I start to losen up.  I think it's because my brain slips back and forth between left and right and the longer it stays in the right side, the more creative I can become.  But I have to prompt myself along the way.  I will do exercises like standing up and shaking my shoulders, arms and hands....trying to sluff off the stiffness of the left brain.  I force myself to add shapes and color....and my results do improve:

But I'm still not where I want to be and I know it.  So I continue to add layers, ink things, paint things, add color, add tags, flowers, buttons, clips, trim.....and I know that my right brain is starting to kick in because I automatically know if I like something or if I don't.  And while this is getting even closer....it's like I'm warming up for a swimming match...but I'm a tad bit afraid to put my head under water!  LOL!

When the right brain finally kicks in....it's amazing!  I know exactly what I need to do, where to put things, how to layer them up, what needs more ink, what needs paint to tone down the ink, what needs less color....

And no, I haven't even started with the diecuts yet, the labels are all handcut. If you click on the photo to enlarge it, you can see that I'm layering tea-dyed felt with paper.  Truly gives it a vintage look.  Remember how "pink" this paper was a few days ago?  Amazing what you can do!!

Who would know this next one is an envelope?  Yep, the top tab folds down under "wonderful you".  My left brain absolutely adores this one and the right brain just layered it all together without even thinking. When the left brain took a look, it saw butterflies and flowers in a snow scene.  Is that not just wonderful?  The little circle at the bottom says "inspire".  The 2 little vintage girls in the snow.  I still don't have an overall theme for the journal, but I think I'm getting there.  

It could be how "wonderful you"......all my wonderful friends, my family, how they all inspire me.  Or....this could be a place where I tuck notes about how wonderful "you" are....that "you" being a specific person who has had an impact on my life!

I think the idea of butterflies, flowers and hearts in the middle of winter, using mint and pink papers - normally a spring theme, but shades of Red and Green from the holiday season - adding snow and cold, just the overall complexity of it could represent the overall complexity of life.  I'll have to let the left side of my brain ponder that a bit longer!

So, you can see that while it is possible to teach the brain to go from left to right side functions....it can be hard.  Some people can make the switch in 2 seconds. Not me. It's a process.  But it usually doesn't take more than an hour or two.  OK, so maybe it takes a day or 2 if I really stop to think about the last couple of days!  All I know is that it does happen.  And when I get in the right side of my brain, I truly love the results that get produced!

Gotta wonder what tomorrow will bring!  Will I wake up in the left or right side of my brain?  And how does all this work with the healing power of art?  Stay tuned!!!

And I lost another day in my life.........

Today is Friday, November 12, 2010.  I get up every morning and check my email and look at my calendar to see what I'm supposed to do today.  Nothing at all on today's agenda!  It really looks just like this! (Well, I cleaned out the rest of my calendar before I took a snapshot!)

I decided I just couldn't be "creative" today after the mess I made yesterday.....and decided to work on genealogy. You know I'm working on this huge, monster of a project called the Cotopaxi Colony.....and I have to say, it has been a fabulous day.  I made so much wonderful progress.....I'm absolutely thrilled with my findings!

Genealogy is creativity in a completely different way......creative research.  I think it uses the same set of skills that an artist uses.  Research requires that you forget everything else in life and step outside of the left side of the brain and over into the right side and view what you see in as many different "lights" as you can.....from as many different angles as possible.

I'm researching 17 different households, a total of 67 individuals.  And I simply got so involved today that I lost complete track of time.  I truly left "this" world of left brained business and stepped into my right brain and lost complete track of everything around me.  The very same thing that happens when I paint, or I'm creative with paper, art, ink, stamps...and Kerry comes in and says he'd like to go to lunch and then to Costco.  Hmmmm....back to the real world.

At lunch, I'm telling him all the things I want to do "tomorrow" to get ready for the weekend.  For whatever reason, even though I looked at the calendar this morning and I saw that it was Friday, Nov 12, my brain decided we were still living in yesterday! (Is it because the entire day was so messed up?)  I mentioned something about going to a movie on Friday and Kerry looks at me and says, "Sweetie, today is Friday!"  I was completely dumbfounded!  I started to argue with him....but I knew he was right.  Once again, I have lost a complete day out of my life!  I think I'm getting too old for this!

Since TODAY is Friday and tomorrow is Saturday (already) I will really try to be creative paper-wise tomorrow and get back to my envelope/pocket project.  And I've decided that as I share the creative process, I'm going to take time out to share  "the-creative-process".....what happens to the brain when we create.

And in that process, we might come to understand why, as artists, we often lose a whole day, lose hours on end, lose track of time....and I think in the end process, we might come to see just exactly why art heals!

If you've never experienced being completely lost in your "right" brain.....you really have something to look forward to.  If you've been completely lost, you will laugh at my stories!

In the meantime, I'm exhausted.  I lost a whole day and that means I lost a whole night of sleep!  I think I need a nap!

Did you ever have one of those days?

Yesterday, I promised to blog the creative process, including my mistakes.  Did my subconscious know something was up???  I woke up to snow.  Ok, you simply cannot create when it's this gloomy outside.  I don't want snow.  I'm too old for snow.  It makes my arthritis hurt.  So of course, my day started off with me in a mood!

But then I happily cut out envelops, tags and pockets from all my revised templates I made yesterday....I was on a roll. Still hadn't decided to ink, pain, or what....but I had stuff to play with!

So I thought, how about decorative punches in the corners?  Of course, my very first punch didn't work and I had to completely tear the corner to get it out.  (Never fear...I'll patch it up!)

Then I decided to try a decorative punch across the top....and it simply didn't punch....

Not only that, but when I tried to open the punch, it literally fell apart!!!

So I pulled out a different punch.....and the same thing happened. You think this is some kind of karma?  Is someone telling me to go back to bed?

Nothing punched and they both just kept falling apart!

So I literally threw them in the trash!!!  I am too old to sit and try to get broken tools to work.  And I'm sure I could have E6000'd them back together.....but no....trash looks good to me!

And in the process of picking paper out of the punches....I broke my needle tool.  (top one).  Fortunately, Amaco has been quite generous to me and I have another tool to work with.  I do love Amaco!!!

At this point, I thought I'd switch gears and paint some of the envelopes.  You guessed it, first 3 jars of paint I opened....ALL dried up!  Hmmmm.....guess I don't use paint that much?  So I ran some water in them, mixed them up, will let them set overnight......praying that tomorrow is a "new" day!

Can't paint, can't punch....I next decided to teadye some stuff.  Well, I did that way before we had Ranger and color wash and distress inks.  Just add Nestea and water....guess what, it still works!

from this rather bright pink and green (have you decided that's my color scheme for this project?)

to a very toned down, tanned piece of satin....

I covered the entire cooktop counter with freezer wrap.....and guess what?  I ran out of freezer wrap!  I am thinking that I need to run to the grocery and NOT buy freezer wrap....just get chocolate!  LOLOL!!!  But then....remember...it's snowing outside....I don't even want chocolate "that" bad!

The good thing?  The cooktop is covered and none of this will be dry til morning.  So I told Kerry he has to take me out to dinner tonight!  LOLOL!  Oh my!  You should have seen the look on his face!

So while I haven't had a very creative day, the word "creative" does have multiple meanings and I was pretty creative at getting out of cooking dinner tonight!

Hopefully tomorrow I'll make better progress!

Getting ready to play

It's time to play again!  I've got stacks of Heidi Swapp paper....and I see that everything is going glitter these days, so I decided to bling up what I have.  The paper by itself is gorgeous....but is it ever enough?

Things to do to alter it:
Hand cut fancy edges (above)
Add stickles dots.....

glitter up the butterflies (the paper comes with the butterflies pre-cut to pop up

outline the veins of the butterflies with glitter:

why is it that cameras just don't photo bling???

Just so pretty!

Loads of glitter on this page.....and what will it become?  I haven't the foggiest!  But this is how "my" creative process works...

I go through my paper and pull out what I think looks good together.  Then I decide if I'm going to ink it, bling it, cut it, paint it....

and if I'm going to make a card, a journal, a scrapbook page.....

I've decided this is going to be a journal.....with loads of tags.....probably shabby chic. I love mint and pink together...

and because today was our first day of snow I decided to "think spring".....I just don't like snow much any more.  But in the summer, when it's boiling hot, that's when I like to "think snow"!

So the next step is to decide if I want to ink the pages...and I think I might like just a faint dusting of ink around the edges.  But do I ink in pink and green....or in white for a shabby look?  or in tea stained browns to give it a vintage look?  Hmmmm.....I think I'll have to sleep on that one!

I'm also planning to do a lot of pockets in this journal.  There's an old post that I wrote (eons ago) that has some hand sketched envelope and pocket templates.  It has been looked at more than any other blog I've written.  So I'm in the process of drawing the templates in a much better format so we could actually print, cut and use them!

If (and that's a huge "if") this turns out like I visualize it in my head, I should be able to make 20 kits and put them in my etsy store for sale.  But I thought it might be fun to blog the creative process of how I put something together.  And yes, I promise to write about the mistakes as well!!!  Trust me....there are always plenty of mistakes!