I do. But I think even more than miracles, I believe in the amazing grace of God.
I was trying to remember when I first started having back pain. Kerry's granddaughter was a baby. They were at our house for dinner and I had to stop preparing the meal right in the middle of cooking as my back hurt so bad. It felt like it was on fire. I sat down and just cried. Kerry, his daughter and his daughter-in-law all finished fixing the meal, but I was in so much pain, I couldn't even enjoy the evening. And that over 10 years ago.
The pain has been off and on. You get used to it. My doctor quit prescribing pain meds with all the new changes in health care regulations. She told me to make up "pain packs". 2 aspirin, 2 acetametephine, 2 ibuprofen and take them every 4 hours. I make up 100 packs at a time stuffing the pills into tiny little ziplock bags (jewelry bags) and keep them everywhere.
I have heating pads in every single room in the house, in my car, at the scrapbook store. On every bed. I lived for my heating pads.
Gradually, the pain has just become a part of my life. When it gets too bad, I quit what I'm doing and sit on a heating pad. If you know me, you've probably sat with me. An hour of cleaning, an hour on the heating pad. An hour of gardening, 30 minutes on the heating pad. Some days, it's 30 minutes of gardening and 2 hours on the heating pad. I refused to have surgery. I watched Kerry almost die during his spinal fusion surgery....I'll keep the pain.
So I went to Israel knowing that I would probably be in intense pain. But I was determined to go and to do all the things I wanted to do. Of course, the first moment I plugged the heating pad into the outlet (with my converter), it "popped" and that was the end of that! LOL!!! But I had taken plenty of pain packs and a few prescription pain pills that I had stashed away from my last prescription 2 years ago.
I also threw in my tens pack at the last moment. I normally do to use it as I don't like the constant prickling feeling it gives. Needless to say, while in Israel, I would get up every morning and put it on. Put the gel pads right in the middle of my back and I usually needed to turn in on about an hour into the day. It saved me. Truly. I used it all day long on my back, taking the pain packs as often as I could.
There were times I had to sit. One day, while standing in line to go to the top of Temple Mount, the pain was so excruciating that I got sick to my stomach.
I prayed every day that God would heal my back. I went to the Western Wall and touched it, prayed and expected "my" miracle.
Nothing. The pain was still there. In fact, it was probably worse than it had ever been. Maybe because I was more aware of it than ever before. Maybe because we were walking, hiking, doing more exercise than I normally do. I would turn the tens pack up as high as I could tolerate it and the pain from that was at least a different kind of pain than what I felt in my back. I sat when it got really bad. I bought new shoes hoping that would help.
When you are taking 6 pain pills every 4 hours, you have to eat in order to keep from getting nauseated. OK, I do. So I ate. Lots of pita bread. And the pills did stay down for the most part. I had moments of relief.....but mostly just severe pain.
I made it to the top of Temple Mount that day I got so sick. I walked around the outside of the mount and prayed that Jehovah Jesus Messiah would see me. That He would know I was there. That he would take note of my request that I simply survive the pain and if it be His will, that He heal my back.
But I didn't give up. I went to the wall twice that day and prayed. I stood before Him and while I did not pray for my back to be healed, I prayed for His will to be done.
And I got up the next day and walked even more. I flooded my system with water, loads of pita and humus. A little chicken every now and then. And pain packs every 4 hours.
On our last morning there, we got up at 5 am and walked to get in line to go up on top of Temple Mount. I put my tens pack on. I'd wait an hour before I turned it on. This was my routine.
At 7:30, we entered Temple Mount and we walked the outside edges and I prayed again. We left and met our tour guide who took us to Jericho that day. About 10:30 am, I looked at my sister and said, "April, my back hasn't hurt yet." I hadn't taken any tylenol. I hadn't turned on the tens pack. I was almost afraid to breathe!
At lunch, I commented again. Still no pain. Not even a hint of pain. I just sat there and started praising Jehovah. I sort of wanted to sing....but it was too early. (Oh me of such little faith!)
We had a very long day that day. We ended up getting to the airport 7 hours before our flight. Then 15 hours sitting on the plane to LAX. Then another 5 hour layover there, a 3 hour flight home, a 2 1/2 hour drive home from the airport.
No pain pack. No tens pack. I knew a miracle had happened. I knew my back had been healed. I knew God had seen me, He had heard me. But I was cautious. I told myself that even if it was only 48 house of no pain, that was a blessing.
And that's when I started to realize just how bad my back had been hurting. When the pain leaves, you realize how severe it had been. How limited I had been. How much of my life I had been sitting on a heating pad.
That was 2 weeks ago. I have moved furniture, lifted things I couldn't lift in the past, been hiking in the foothills near my home, been taking rather long walks....and still no pain.
A miracle happened to me while I was in Jerusalem. I am singing. Every single day. Literally singing. And praising His name. And if I only get these 2 weeks without pain, it has been the biggest blessing in my life. But I truly believe that my back has been healed. He showed me His mercy. He showered me yet again with His amazing grace. He heard my prayers. He took away my pain.
I have heating pads to give away. :o)
And if you wonder why I post on FB about all my hiking....I will be walking, hiking, climbing stairs, gardening.....doing everything I can with a new vengeance, with a song in my heart, with my arms outstretched to Jehovah, praising Him every step of the way!!!
I believe in miracles. One was given to me.